living will

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by TexasRed (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Friday, 08-Apr-2005 15:02:49

Living Will

I, ________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and
body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood
politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended
on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a
cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better, EVER.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, siblings,
assigned "plug-pullers", children, cousins and/or attending physicians to
pull
the plug, reel in the tubes, kiss me goodbye, and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the members of the legislature or the courts
enact or decide on a
special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these
boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention to the health,
education, and future of the millions of Americans, like the poor, the poor
working class and us baby boomers, who aren't in a
permanent coma (although sometimes I wish I could be to avoid having to put
up with these decisions).

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't
care how many votes they're trying to scrounge for their
run for the presidency in 2008, it is my wish that they play politics
with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to
legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these
people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach or crusade on my
behalf.

They should mind their own damn business, too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a
political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his
or her existence a living hell.

_________________________________________
Signature
_________________________________________
Witness

Post 2 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Friday, 08-Apr-2005 19:46:54

lol.

Post 3 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Saturday, 09-Apr-2005 10:09:30

Brilliant I loved it

Post 4 by Lupinsgirl (I can't call it a day til I enter the zone BBS) on Saturday, 09-Apr-2005 12:33:21

Real funny! I think you are refering to the Tarie Shivo cace/
I agre that peple shod keep ther noses out of peples lives!